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For Mothers
There are numerous reasons for wanting to process a birth: a stillborn child, a NICU baby, the desire for a sibling, a traumatic or difficult birth experience, unwanted interventions, more self-determination, less fear, a new phase of life, lack of bonding with the baby, a crying baby, etc.
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Perhaps you are currently experiencing the baby blues or postpartum depressive mood swings. Maybe your thoughts are spiraling: "Am I a mother and only a mother now?", "Am I a "good" mother?", ... Also bodily changes can be difficult to cope with.
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Processing the transition into motherhood and being a mum can happen at any time. Many women want to talk about their experiences within the first 12 months after having a baby. However, if there has been something that is still on your mind it doesn't matter if it has been 2, 5, 10 years or more since you've given birth.
Here are some examples of potential topics for counseling. The process and duration of counseling are tailored to your individual needs and experiences.
Understanding the birth process
Many people find it helpful to put the events during and after the birth into chronological order. Together, we will record your own memories, go through the birth documentation, and find the right people to talk to for clarification.
Allowing and regulating emotions
Whether it's unwanted tears during a conversation. Unexplainable anger. Or emotional numbness. During childbirth and even months later, there are significant hormonal fluctuations that affect your emotions. Together, we will create a safe space where you can allow your feelings to flow and learn to regulate them.
Calming worries and fears
Difficult and traumatic birth experiences can be triggers. Feeling a loss of control. Constant worries and fears. Also reagarding having more children or undergoing other medical procedures. Together, we will explore how self-determination could work in such situations so that you can feel safe.
Finding a way that works for YOU
​It's about you. About your feelings and your experiences. About what you need and what you want. About how to move forward and what feels right for you. At your own pace.
Dealing with emotional distress and disappointed expectations
Some women feel pressured and helpless. They feel like they are bad mothers when they find it difficult to bond with their baby. When their baby cries a lot and demands a lot of attention. When they have problems breastfeeding. Or when their baby has health problems. Together, we develop strategies to deal with this pressure.
Leaving spiraling thoughts
Your thoughts keep returning to giving birth, the postpartum period, and the time after that. You feel tired and exhausted. Perhaps feelings of guilt are also running through your mind. Together, we will reflect on which thoughts are important to you. And on which thoughts you can let go of. We will practice breaking out of thought spirals and relaxing consciously.
Seeing what could have been in a new light
Disappointed expectations can often weigh heavily. Perhaps it's about what you didn't want, but happened. Or about what you wanted, but didn't happen. About what you now have to live with. Or about what you now can't have. Perhaps it is about you. Or perhaps it is about someone else. That is why it is important to name and acknowledge these disappointed expectations. Together, we ask ourselves what should have been. What is different now. And how to deal with it when it hurts to even think about it.
3 tips for you
Request birth documentation
The birth is documented by midwives. You can request these documents and arrange an appointment with a midwife or doctor to have the medical terminology explained to you in understandable terms.